Pride and Prejudice

First, I would like to apologize for the previous long post. Didn't mean to write so long, just wanna share some random thoughts...

So on a lighter note, I am going to share on Pride and Prejudice, the movie and novel. though the previous post has nothing to do with the movie...

A few years ago, I watched the movie Pride and Prejudice directed by Joe Wright based on the same name novel written by Jane Austen. I love the movie so much that I went on to read the novel.

It is a romantic love story of how two people so suitable for each other overcome their pride and prejudice and finally got together. Of course there's other interesting characters like Elizabeth's sisters, Mr Darcy's friends etc , and insights to that period social class differences  which makes the story not just a love story.

Keira Knightley's performance as Elizabeth was stunningly beautiful, much more outstanding than when she was in Pirates of the Carribean.
Mathew Macfayden is also very charming as the awkwardly proud Mr Darcy.

So if u have time, and have not watch or read Pride and Prejudice, can take some time to go watch / read it!

Pride and Prejudice 傲慢与偏见

前阵子爸爸跟弟弟说了好一段关于“扭曲的思想”。他说人特别是在年轻的时候，总会有许多对于人事物过于执著的己见，往往都会太过认为自己的想法是对的而对产生一些“扭曲”的想法。我归类这种现象为“傲慢与偏见”， “Pride and Prejudice" 。因为自负，执著于己见，即是对事物产生了偏见也没能察觉。

爸爸说，人都会觉得自己的想法一定是对的，自己想出来的怎么可能会错呢？可是事实常常事实证明我们的想法不一定会是对的。有些时候有可能只是欠缺考量，没有从不同的观点考虑而已。可是我们往往因为自尊心，不能放下“自己”虚心接受别人的意见或想法。

我最近在看一部叫“拥抱太阳的月亮”的韩剧。戏里国王用心良苦为世子安排年轻的文状元成为他的老师，希望世子能有个亦师亦友的良伴。世子却认为父王是因为看不起他才安排年仅比自己大三岁的人当老师，所以拒绝上课。老师为了纠正世子的学习态度，提议和世子打个赌，他出一道谜语，若世子能在一星期内答对他就辞去老师一职，相反若世子无法答对世子就必须正式拜他为师。他出的谜语是：“什么可以让人一瞬间从黑暗看到光明？”

你猜得出吗？

世子花了一整星期的时间，翻遍所有的书后，很自信的回答：“国王若能很好的治理国家，人民就能衣食无忧，安居乐业。相反若国王昏庸无能，人民就会如同活在地狱。所以贤王的统治可以让人瞬间从黑暗看到光明。” 可是老师却说：“这不是我的答案。我的答案是眼皮。关上眼皮世界是黑暗的，可是一张开世界就变光明了。可是，你的答案很好。若王执著于自己的傲慢与偏见，怎么成为贤王让人民过好生活呢？”

这篇文字，我花了很多时间写。因为在写的同时也一直在检视自己，也想着一些朋友的处境。爸爸说宗教让他改变了自己许多“扭曲的想法”， 我想那是一种智慧。可是有时年纪越大越难改变偏见（因为会以为自己经历更多更成熟，而越来越傲慢。）今天XL跟我说他已经无法像以前一样只听朋友吐苦水。他想要给他的朋友意见，想要说他的看法，想要帮他的朋友指出他的缺点希望他会改变。可是他的朋友却觉得他已经那么不好受，为什么他还要一直说他错，不能说点让他好过一点的话。我曾经也有这样的苦恼。明明这种事一再的发生在你身上，一定是你做了些什么让这种事一再在你身上发生，不可能是一直都是别人的错，不可能世上那么多人偏偏你总遇到同中的人对你做同样的事。身边的人都给你类似的劝解，怎么你都听不进去？把你当朋友，希望你更好才跟你说，你却把我当敌人，或对我生气说我不挺你，不了解你。。。一味的阿谀奉承是坏朋友才做的事，我可是你的好朋友耶。。。你有过这样的经历吗？

后来我知道了。当一个人在气头上，或在困境时，思想都会像在迷宫里一样。在负面情绪和思绪中没有人可以理智的。他也是把你当好朋友才向你吐苦水。这时他需要的只是安慰，只是鼓励。这时给朋友正面力量，不是阿谀奉承而是当朋友的精神支柱。分析和意见，只有在当事人愿意听的时候才是帮助，不然只是负面能量，只是垃圾，只是破坏感情的凶器。

有时我们因为傲慢与偏见，无法虚心听取别人的意见。有时我们因为傲慢与偏见，以为自己在做正义之事，其实却伤害他人。愿我会有智慧能学会，分辨是非。


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Its hard to please everyone

Everyone is talking about the changes that's going to happen after PM Lee's National Day Rally! Went to lunch on Mon at a foodcourt, ppl sitting beside us are all expressing their views about it.. which pri sch can i send my chid to now? PM says HDB is affordable, how come I can't afford one? Govt want to earn more money la! are some of the comments I overheard. Are u happy with the announcements?

Just read a ridiculous article shared by a friend on Facebook, saying PM is stupid and should step down because everything said at the National Day Rally was stupid and did not address Singaporeans' concerns. Duh! What's wrong with these people????

No, I do not think the changes PM announced are perfect solutions to all the problems we are facing. For example, I am now worried that WL may not get into the primary sch we planned to put her in, because the places left for alumni is now greatly reduced. And Medishield Life just means that all shield plan premium will increase again, esp premium increased by a lot recently it's not really a good news to me. But, it's obvious govt is already trying very hard to please everyone.

Let's face it, Singapore is not a social welfare state, our nation is build by hardworking people who wants to improve their lives. We take care of ourselves, and government will provide the structure and system for everyone to have the chance to succeed in their lives. I believe this is the fundamental principle for Singapore to survive. Singapore is a vulnerable country, we only have ourselves to depend on to survive. But is the system fair and transparent? How about those who are not able to be in this system?

It's just like some ppl feel that it's not fair for Financial Advisers to earn commission. They feel that Man are greedy, and ppl will sell base on commission and not for  clients' benefits. But, shouldn't more hardworking and good advisers who did a great plan for their clients be rewarded more? Those who just sell plans for money can't stay long in business. Its either they cant deal with their own conscious, or they can't find anyone  to cheat anymore. Those who stay and earn are usually those with referrals, because their clients like them for what they did, because the advisers really cared for them. Is full commission system fair and can make sure everyone benefits? not really, it's a fact that sometimes some ppl still recommend a plan because of incentives. But it provides a natural selection process for survivals , and in the end those who work hard will be rewarded. Fair enough.

世界上没有绝对的公平，也不会有免费的午餐。

Hello! my appetite!

It's official that I'm in my 2nd trimester! I still feel nausea all the time, but hey! I can eat a lot now! feeling excited coz I can really go and have some serious nice food! like shabu shabu, or maybe some nice high tea... muahahaha...
I am also trying to eat more homecooked food, let's take a look at some of the food I cook for myself recently:

grilled chicken leg with pasta

closer look of my 蛋包饭

蛋包饭 with hotdog and asparagus

Bulgogi with Kimchi rice

Onigiri 

失眠的早上

It's 7am, and I have been awake since 6am. not that bad, sometimes I may even wake up earlier and couldn't go back to slp again. These are the times that I am glad we now co-sleep with wl. I can cuddle her, admire her long lashes and pout lips, feel her soft skin, hold her small hands, listen to her snore with no one interrupting. How can I love someone like this? so unconditionally, so naturally, so overwhelmingly that I sometimes wonder where did all these love come from?

co-sleeping with babies is something that I am against of right from the beginning. quality of slp is definitely compromised with a baby in the middle. not only that u have to be constantly alert not to hurt the baby unknowingly in your slp, u may be constantly hurt by the unknowing baby. I am almost constantly kicked and pushed by wl while she sleeps like a baby.....

but due to the haze, we started to co-sleep out of convenience. and she LOVES to slp with us. one day she was throwing tantrums before her bedtime, I got very angry and warned her if she continues her nonsense she has to slp alone in her room. then miraculously she stopped crying and climbed back up onto the bed and whined while hugging me. shortly after the haze period I got pregnant and was tired and sleepy all the time. had zero energy to train her to slp on her own again.

I know it's not good to continue to co-sleep with her, esp with my tummy getting bigger each day... she might kick my tummy or jump on me anytime... maybe will start to train her next wk, if I have more energy! Second trimester is here!!!! yeah!!!