Linus & Lucas came over my house to stayover for 2 nights last week. On monday, when the two girls were in school, I stayed at home to spend time with the boys. By late afternoon, the house is already covered with all sort of toys and books in all corners, despite after them keeping the toys maybe 20 times upon request. Linus came to me, proudly show me a "straw" filled with water and proceed on to spray the water at me. I recognized the "straw" to be a part from the toy stethoscope. I got very angry, and told him very sternly, "Linus, where is the stethoscope? I don't you to dismantle the toys, especially when you dont know how to fix them back!"
Immediately, his face was filled with disappointment, and quickly explain he will fix them back. Seeing his disappointment, I quickly I regretted saying what I said.
Linus is a very creative boy. Earlier in the afternoon, he used the rabbit doll house ladder as train tracks, dismantled the shoes from the octopus toy and played them on the "train tracks" as cars. He played out of the box, and used his imagination to create new toys for play. I, being too used to the "proper" play with wl n yl, instead of acknowledging his creativity, scolded him immediately for spoiling the toys, without acknowledging his creativity. To be honest, I am totally new to this kind of behavior, I really have no idea what is the best way to react. So I am now guilty of not apologizing to him for breaking his heart.
I thought about it for very long. Wanling's school report is just out, and she had very good feedback from teachers that she shows great interest in reading and writing, but is not too good with story telling and creating poems. I just read an article on FB which says obedience kills creativity for kids. I have also seen friends who were too controlled by parents when they were young to be obedient, but grow up to be super rebellious. So where should the balance be? How to raise a child, who knows how to respect others, exercise self control and with good moral values, yet is not rigid, can be creative and have sense of humor?
For now on, I think I have to be mindful about discipline with the kids. I should be not too rigid to ask them to follow rules strictly and acknowledge or encourage any creativity they have. Kids should be allowed to blossom in their own way, within a safe boundary of rules. Does this makes sense?
Back to the story of Linus and stethoscope, he couldn't find the other parts of the stethoscope, so till now, its still not fixed yet. >_< maybe he needs to learn more about responsibility.. Another topic for parenting ??
