I have bought the air tickets to sydney. To join XL work trip in sydney. The qn is, whether i should bring Yankai along? I have bought his tickets too, but its super discounted tic, so its sort of alright if we change our mind and dun bring him in the end?
As mentioned, he is a really loud and demanding baby... although most of the time he is ok... but when he is angry, he'd be really angry, like a baby spitting fire (like the baby in The Incredibles). He screams loud and is inconsolable.
Its already daunting to bring a baby overseas alone. I mean, its a 7-8 hours flight, how do i go to toilet on board? How to make him sleep in the tiny space, on my lap for 8hrs? How to carry the luggage with the baby on tow? How to eat my meals on board with him? Will i be able to "enjoy" the holiday with him around? On top of that, there is a high risk of him screaming on top of his lungs 50,000ft above the ground with hundreds of ppl trying to slp staring at me.
Ok, if i really dun bring him... i will have to pump? There is already not enough ftozen stash for him. So start formula will be inevitable. How shud i bring back the milk?
Haiz... there is equal pros and cons on both side and i really cant decide.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
The case against breastfeeding
Wrote a super long post last night on fb... was probably too tired and not thinking straight.. but here it is:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/
While reading through this long article late at night, baby cried. His daddy, just beside him, merely made a few "shh shh shh" sound, while his eyes and hands glued to his handphone playing his mobile game. I jumped out of the couch across the room to my baby (note my), feeling anger boiling inside me as i get on to my mummy duties.
Yes, i feel trapped, like how the article describes, i feel i am chained to the pump and imprisoned by the feeding schedule. And its true that exclusively breastfeeding makes me angry lots of time. (Esp when like what had just happened 😒)
Thats the main reason why i say, i feel like quitting everyday. xl say, i do have a choice. But i am still hanging on to "breastfeed as long as i can", and i dont really know why.
Maybe its the bonding with baby while feeding? Maybe I'm addicted to the skin to skin closeness, and his baby smell as we cuddle... they say, treasure it when we can, coz when kids grow up they will not want to be close to us anymore...
Maybe its the soliditary me time i am privileged to have when i breastfeed, latch or pump alike. Its really nice to be able to escape into my room, to pump or to feed, when the girls are fighting or throwing tantrum outside. Its also really nice to take a break in between work to pump, and play my mobile games or watch some show, some things i couldnt really do at any other time.
Maybe its the convenience to be able to latch anywhere.. ya, contradicting i know. Its freedom to go anywhere i want with baby, but trapped with him as well.
Maybe i am really brainwashed by all the "research" and "parental advice", that "breast is best". Although i really take it easy this time round.. i have already 看开 after my 2nd, i am mentally prepared to give formula if need to.. but ego will always be stroked if i am able to proudly declare "ya, my baby is exclusively breastfed" 😏
So, ya... here i am, like most female, who always contradict themselves, i hate to breastfeed but I'm gonna do it as long as i can..
Years later, when Facebook reminds me of this ridiculously long post i made at 1am... i may be laughing at myself..silly me, why i didnt sleep when i am already so sleep deprived.
#breastfeedingmakesmemad
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/
While reading through this long article late at night, baby cried. His daddy, just beside him, merely made a few "shh shh shh" sound, while his eyes and hands glued to his handphone playing his mobile game. I jumped out of the couch across the room to my baby (note my), feeling anger boiling inside me as i get on to my mummy duties.
Yes, i feel trapped, like how the article describes, i feel i am chained to the pump and imprisoned by the feeding schedule. And its true that exclusively breastfeeding makes me angry lots of time. (Esp when like what had just happened 😒)
Thats the main reason why i say, i feel like quitting everyday. xl say, i do have a choice. But i am still hanging on to "breastfeed as long as i can", and i dont really know why.
Maybe its the bonding with baby while feeding? Maybe I'm addicted to the skin to skin closeness, and his baby smell as we cuddle... they say, treasure it when we can, coz when kids grow up they will not want to be close to us anymore...
Maybe its the soliditary me time i am privileged to have when i breastfeed, latch or pump alike. Its really nice to be able to escape into my room, to pump or to feed, when the girls are fighting or throwing tantrum outside. Its also really nice to take a break in between work to pump, and play my mobile games or watch some show, some things i couldnt really do at any other time.
Maybe its the convenience to be able to latch anywhere.. ya, contradicting i know. Its freedom to go anywhere i want with baby, but trapped with him as well.
Maybe i am really brainwashed by all the "research" and "parental advice", that "breast is best". Although i really take it easy this time round.. i have already 看开 after my 2nd, i am mentally prepared to give formula if need to.. but ego will always be stroked if i am able to proudly declare "ya, my baby is exclusively breastfed" 😏
So, ya... here i am, like most female, who always contradict themselves, i hate to breastfeed but I'm gonna do it as long as i can..
Years later, when Facebook reminds me of this ridiculously long post i made at 1am... i may be laughing at myself..silly me, why i didnt sleep when i am already so sleep deprived.
#breastfeedingmakesmemad
Sunday, September 10, 2017
How is life with three kids?
最怕有人突然问我，"How's life with three kids?".
我该怎么回答? 掩藏所有的痛苦，挤出一个微笑，配上我疲惫的脸，勉强说出:"ok 啊， 一切都好啊。"毕竟问的人未必对宝宝晚上起来几次，两位姐姐一天吵架几次有兴趣。可是黑到差不多遮住半边脸的黑眼圈和撑不起的眼皮会让这答案显得太不真诚。所以大多时候我都会淡定的说"ok lo,这样咯。要不你也生三个试试看?"
我其实不是很过得很糟糕，其实也不是3个或2个或甚至1个孩子的问题。只是我真的不够睡啦!其实也只是这个孩子有点难搞，哭的时候有点吓人。只是我最大的女儿有时会像个婴儿还需要哄需要抱。只是两位姐姐有时会争吵不休，有时会得意忘形而变得不知分寸。只是有时候，坏的糟糕的事总爱一起发生。只是我需要多一点点可以自由呼吸的空间。这样而已，并不是太糟。这算家家有本难念的经吗?
所以希望不会再有人问我这样的问题了。其实问这样的问题的你，想要听到的答案到底是什么?
我该怎么回答? 掩藏所有的痛苦，挤出一个微笑，配上我疲惫的脸，勉强说出:"ok 啊， 一切都好啊。"毕竟问的人未必对宝宝晚上起来几次，两位姐姐一天吵架几次有兴趣。可是黑到差不多遮住半边脸的黑眼圈和撑不起的眼皮会让这答案显得太不真诚。所以大多时候我都会淡定的说"ok lo,这样咯。要不你也生三个试试看?"
我其实不是很过得很糟糕，其实也不是3个或2个或甚至1个孩子的问题。只是我真的不够睡啦!其实也只是这个孩子有点难搞，哭的时候有点吓人。只是我最大的女儿有时会像个婴儿还需要哄需要抱。只是两位姐姐有时会争吵不休，有时会得意忘形而变得不知分寸。只是有时候，坏的糟糕的事总爱一起发生。只是我需要多一点点可以自由呼吸的空间。这样而已，并不是太糟。这算家家有本难念的经吗?
所以希望不会再有人问我这样的问题了。其实问这样的问题的你，想要听到的答案到底是什么?
徐晏楷，还好你爱笑
极端的徐晏楷，像他很容易笑一样，也很容易生气。他可以因为我比较慢点抱他起来就生气。可以只是因为睡不着而生气。他生气时像火山爆发一样，像海啸咆哮一样。听他生气地的哭喊，我才真正体会什么叫做惊天地泣鬼神，才明白什么叫束手无策。
徐晏楷，如果以后你看到为你写的这一篇， 来抱一抱妈妈吧。妈妈每天都被你的哭笑弄得心化了又凝结，折磨得快长茧了，变得哭笑不得了。
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