My highly sensitive? child

Just when we thought Wanling seems to be settling down into her primary school, we started to face non-stop dramas and meltdowns with her "tantrums". It appeared suddenly sometime before CNY. And got worse after she hurt her chin during CNY. No significant events happened, she just suddenly had day and night, day after day of nonstop emotional meltdowns.

Sometimes it's because Yiling get to brush teeth first, sometimes it's because I didn't hold her hand to bring her into the toilet to bathe. Sometimes it's because she just couldn't tuck in her shirt right ( dun ask me what that means, I have no idea too), or the hair clip is not at the right position??😒.

We were at our wits end, and I have run out of all my patience to deal with all the outburst of emotions that happens every other seconds. Xl turned to one of our best friends, Google, and she pointed out that she could be a highly sensitive child.

According to this website https://www.google.com.sg/amp/s/happysensitivekids.com/2016/04/12/21-ways-to-recognise-a-highly-sensitive-child/amp/

1. Your child often puts their hands over their ears to block out loud or uncomfortable noises like sirens, alarms or DIY sounds

Yes. She does this all the time. Esp if we insist to listen to songs she doesnt like.. does this count?

1. Your child hides behind your legs or is clingy in unknown places, with unknown faces or in busy places.

All the time! Sometimes even at home!

1. Your child is sensitive and highly reactive to pain.

We thought she is just trying to exaggerate to get more attention. 

1. Your child is the one retreating to a quiet corner at a birthday party.

We thought she is just extremely shy..  

1. You face inexplicable meltdowns after a school day.

Yes! Inexplicable 

1. Your child takes time to warm up when in the company of others – even people they know well.

All the time! Though it's much better now. 

1. Your child has great difficulty getting to sleep at night and in all likelihood has probably never been the best of night time sleepers, even as a baby.

Yes yes!

1. Your child is irritated by clothes tags, sock seams or ‘scratchy’ clothes.

We thought she is just fussy 

1. Your child notices the details: if you move something in your front room, your child knows it. If you change your perfume, your child remarks on it.

Eh.. this one not so much I think... 

1. Your child cries when another child cries – or is visibly upset.They notice another person’s discomfort or feelings.

She dun really care abt others I think. But she is absolutely distressed if yankai cries non stop on car rides.

1. Your child seems to prefer quiet games and enjoys their own company.

Yes!

1. Your child is a picky eater and finds some textures and strong flavours unpalatable. definitely a picky eater !
2. A busy playground is not attractive to your child. Your child observes whilst other children tear around from the slide to the swing to the climbing frame and back again. Your child is the cautious one – assessing the situation thoroughly before jumping or climbing.

Not so much now... but Yes, when she was a toddler

1. Your child startles if you raise your voice at him.

She cries immediately when i raise my voice even just slightly

1. Your child has a strong sense of smell.

Something we couldnt understand at all... she always say toilet is very smelly but we couldnt smell a thing....

1. Teachers have told you that your child is shy, quiet or sensitive.

Yes. 

1. Grandparents tell you your child seems wise beyond her years.

Hmm ... sound more like yiling

1. Your child has a perfectionist tendency.

A trait of hers that i really cant stand.. what is tuck in shirt correctly??? 

1. Your child is not keen to perform in front of strangers. They don’t do as well in tests given my strangers as they do in the company of familiar faces.

Yes.

1. Your child is immensely curious, constantly asking deep questions that you may not have the answer to.

Hmmm sounds more like yiling! Oh no, could she be highly sensitive too???

1. Your child displays immense emotion. sometimes such deep emotion you just don’t get it.

I always dun get it...

All in all, for all the tests to check if a child is highly sensitive, she will display almost all the traits of a highly sensitive child. I think she is generally extremely sensitive to touch and smell and feelings, but not so observant and vocal. 

It is a revelation to us. Because it might be true that she is not being difficult and fussy on purpose. It might be true that her senses are indeed much more sensitive than us, so she complains about the stitches at collars on t shirt itchy, even though we couldnt even feel the stitches. It might be the truth that she really couldn't stand the smell of the toilet so she can't brush teeth in the toilet, even though we can't smell any smell at all. It may be true that she is really painful, even though Yiling only slightly bump into her? She is not trying to exaggerate so we will give her more attention. She is not trying to make our life difficult, she just really couldn't help it. 

But the next question is, what can we do? We can't be giving in to her everytime just because she is sensitive right? There should be a way we can teach her how to cope with her emos?? Haiz... 

Patience.. I need more patience.....