几个星期前我生病了，那时xL又出国公干。吃了药躺在床上，黏在我身边睡着的是我的大女儿，在床边睡着的是刚满一个月的小女儿。我心里突然这样想"我怎么当了两个孩子的妈?"
"妈妈，妈妈"琬玲这样叫着的时候，有时是世界上最好听的声音，有时候是最烦人的声音。有人喊你"妈妈"代表有人需要你，有人赖着你，有人爱着你。那是一种无法卸下的责任，无论什么时候，不管你有没有生病，不管你累不累，不管你心情好不好，都必须面对的责任。
现在突然成了两个孩子的妈，有点不真实，有点不敢相信。因为我现在只想当个撒娇的女儿赖在妈妈身边。
妈妈，我爱你!
母亲节快乐!
My confinement is going to end soon....
Finally I am looking forward to going out of my home. I told rq that I am a 宅女， so enjoyed my staying at home time for the past weeks. But these few days I feel like going out! I want to go do facial, I want to go watch movie, I want to go shopping, I want to go some nice restaurant and have a nice meal!
But I have to feed my baby like every 3 hours or so. .. and a toddler who always want my attention. .. how to do so many things on my own? I can't remember how I manage a baby on my own 3 years ago. ...
Wanling is a big girl now, especially after carrying meimei, the difference in size is obvious. She is growing up fast!
Now she is at the stage that she sings non stop. .. she is noisy all the time! a while ago, I was hoping she could sing songs. Now, I still think she's so cute when she's singing. Maybe a while later, I'll hope that she will keep quiet for a while. ..
So far, she has been a good sister. She smiles when she's carrying meimei. She runs to meimei whenever she cries. (Though I think she thought its fun to 哄her, than she's really concerned about her) she will look for meimei the moment she reach home. And of course, there are some dark moments like she will sometimes cry and want me to carry her when I am feeding meimei. She will purposely squeeze or pinch meimei when we tell her not to. I think she loves meimei, just that she can't help feel jealous sometimes. Love her so much!
不知不觉益铃已经一个多星期大了,我也坐月一星期了。
这里整理一下这星期的感想:
坐月最受不了的事:
1) 总是一个人吃饭。
不管我怎么请,陪月阿姨就是不原意和我一起吃。我们语言上沟通也有障碍,她不太会说中文,我不太会说潮州话,即便一起吃也是尴尬,所以我最后也放弃,就一直孤零零一个人吃饭
2) 琬玲在我喂益铃的时候撒娇
不是要抱抱,就是要我帮他拿东西。平时也还好,琬玲挺疼妹妹 的。只是有时就是要撒娇。看他在我面前哭得可怜兮兮的样子 ,我却无能为力,最讨厌这种时候。
3) 一直流汗
不能随心所欲的冲凉洗头, 又一直流汗。恨
到现在为止最开心的事
1) 妈妈过来陪我。
2) 琬玲听到妹妹哭就飞奔到妹妹身边想安慰她。
3) 益铃睁开眼看着我
I am officially in confinement!
Delivery was exceptionally smooth, that I didn't experience any pain! Admitted hospital to induce labour because of reduced fetal movement. Things happened so fast. Dr Tan broke the water bag almost as soon as I lie down on the bed after checking the cervix dilation. Then contraction starts. Before contractions became painful, epidural was already administered. Just one hr after nurse checked that I am 4-5cm dilated, I am already 10cm dilated ready to push. When Dr Tan arrived, with just 3 push, baby is out! During skin to skin session after delivery, baby already latch on and started feeding!
Small episodes that happened along the way:
I felt itchiness right from the beginning. Side effect of epidural.
I shivered for one hr or so, side effect of epidural.
Vomited just before I reach my ward. Side effect of epidural.
Felt pain and discomforts whole day after delivery. Dr say is uterus contracting, but .... after birth pain is worse than labor pain is too much to take... okok I know its not a fair comparison, coz I dun feel pain at all durinv labor, but I dun remember I was in such pain after wl delivery. Luckily, after third dosage of painkillers at midnight starts to work and I finally get to sleep in peace.
Baby vomitted three times with brownish stuff... after testing, it is my blood that she might have swallowed during delivery, so its not a concern.
Otherwise all is fine, we are all at home, baby is feeding well, my milk supply is coming... I am worried I'll have blocked ducts... I remember it to be extremely painful... I will massage well before every feeding!
It's 3 more weeks to baby's EDD!
My Mother-in-law announced that they are going holiday with their friends first week of April.
Ok... baby will be only 1 month plus old by then.... My first reaction is to turn to XL, and ask him 'You will be in Singapore right?'
I am not fully confident with taking care of 2 kids at the same time in the first place, let alone without any help.... ok... l think I am freaking out.... l imagined the worst scenario of 2 kids crying non-stop throughout the night and pooping at the same time.... How can I survive this for a week alone?
This is the kind of things that will happen to the second child. If you are the first child, everyone in the family will treat you like king/queen in the family. No one will go holiday when you have only just arrived. You will be the priority. Everyone will want to carry you, shower gifts and love to you all the time.
I am guilty sometimes of neglecting the second one myself. At first, I thought I should not neglect WL because she is just in front of me. The baby inside me can wait, When she is out I will give her all my love. But this is already unfair. WL had all my attention ever since I knew her existence.
I do believe love is infinite. I will not love WL less because I have a second child. I won't love My second child less because she is second. But time is limited, there is only 24 hrs a day. How to distribute time and attention equally such that neither will feel neglected is a challenge.
