Hello 2nd trimester!

It's 2nd trimester already! 

I dun feel like it's 2nd trimester.. coz I am still having the same 1st trimester's nausea, vomiting and am still forever tired!

But hey, the belly is showing so much like it can't wait to tell everyone I'm pregnant! So when should I start to tell everyone leh? Should I already start to inform the clients I'm meeting? Do I even need to tell them? Hmmm...

On a side note, we did the down syndrome test so that we could have a detailed 1st trimester's scan... result turns out to be Yanyan is at high risk to be a down syndrome child, 1:122 chance to be exact. It's actually less than 1% chance. We have decided not to do any further diagnostics test. Most ppl are quite surprised that my reaction to the result is so indifferent. I think the normal reaction would be worried?

I did researched on it, and really think through it for days, it wasn't an impulsive decision.
Initially, I dismissed the result because it is so unreliable. We have friends with a result of 1:2, 1:7 and their child is perfectly normal! To add on to that, when doctor explained the result, she said my blood test result is normal, scan is normal, but the result is high risk. Rididiculous right?

Then doctor further explained the invasive diagnostic tests have risk of miscarriage, 1:300 chance. I have a choice to do a non-invasive blood test, which is 99.9% accurate too, but that is still a screening test, and non-conclusive. So I go back to the fundamental qn, would I keep Yanyan if she is indeed a down syndrome child? I tried so hard to keep her with me, it just doesn't make sense for me to give up on her now!

I asked, why would parents want to terminate the pregnancy if the child is diagnosed with down syndrome , or any chromosome defect problem. The most reasonable reason was that it would be hard on the child, probability of medical conditions like heart condition, hearing , eyesight problems etc would be higher. Probably child has to go through various operation at a tender age. It would be tough on parents, medical fees may be unaffordable, education fees maybe unaffordable, time required to take care of the child would be much much more.

Then I asked, would I kill Yanyan if she wasn't diagnosed with down syndrome, but born with other disabilities or illness that couldn't be diagnosed at fetus stage? I wouldn't. 

Maybe, deep down, it is still an emotional decision. I had lost a baby by nature, it just doesn't make sense to terminate one by choice. Yanyan had survived despite all the scares, she is growing! I will do all I can to make sure she can continue to grow healthily, and Yanyan, she will do her part to grow healthily.

So yanyan, if u read this when u grow up next time, Mama love you for whoever you are and however you grow up to be. Same for all my girls, wl & yl!